


Bernie

by Hapi (shinso)



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Gen, Kidnapping, Nonbinary Bernadetta, Nonbinary Character, as in canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-21
Updated: 2020-07-21
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:21:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,449
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25413859
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shinso/pseuds/Hapi
Summary: Bernadetta and her troubles adjusting to Garreg Mach.
Relationships: My Unit | Byleth & Bernadetta von Varley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	Bernie

**Author's Note:**

> This is just me getting out of my funk so the quality is... eh but hey maybe someone will like it so

Bernadetta has often written about kidnapping; about getting saved or falling in love with the actually-not-so-bad abductor. Ah, how romantic it must be...

But it's not. Getting stuffed into a smelly bag while asleep... waking up in an entirely unfamiliar place... getting told you're now training to be a knight or military officer or whatever... is not romantic at all. Garreg Mach Monastery is a frightening place and, once she's settled in without any real consent... well, Bernadetta plans on never leaving the room assigned to her again. She locks it as soon as she's alone. Once, twice. The lock clicks comfortingly.

There's no way she's attending the awful knight academy, nope.

She wants to go home. To her sewing projects and art books. To the stuffed toys she made, the ones she has to hide from her parents lest they be burned or torn to shreds...

Oh. She... she's away from her parents. That may be the only good point about being here. No scorn, no hatred, no fear of making missteps... 

She smiles to herself. Maybe she can be herself around here... just maybe... she'll go to the marketplace she's seen the other day and get some fabric. A quill and a notebook... yes, maybe she can sneak out while everyone else is attending classes or something... 

It's a plan. She can do it. Just one trip outside and then she can hide away for a while... pretend she's not there or dead or whatever to the outside world. How amazing it sounds! Truly! She's a genius! She's gonna be able to dedicate all her time to her hobbies now! 

For the most part, to her credit, it even does go well. The sun is out when she leaves her room, the grounds are quiet as students are diligently attending their lessons. Even most of the knights are gone, some mission probably keeping them busy. All the better for Bernadetta; she sneaks towards the marketplace, finding a greenhouse on the way and making a note to maybe visit it later. She's always loved plants after all. Maybe crops are growing in there, too? 

Yeah, food is gonna become an issue... if she plans to exclusively stay inside, she's gonna need to stock up. At least for a while.

So her hands are more than full after sifting through the stalls at the market. She's weary by the time she's back in her new home, carefully locked away once more. The marketplace had so many people... too many. She can't wait to be alone as long as possible from here on out. The fabrics she found are colourful and nice... the threads and quills... the notebooks and cookies... yes, she can survive this new living arrangement. Just her and her hobbies. No one is gonna scorn her here. 

And thus she sets out, sketching an idea for clothes she's had for a long while...

It's a peaceful few days, really. She... actually starts to like it in Garreg Mach rather quickly. It's her rules here, no one disturbs or nags at her. She gets a lot done, writing a chapter for an ongoing story, napping after eating some crackers, starting off her newest sewing project...

But all peace can not last. Hers is done and over with within a week of being established. Of course it would be... it's what she deserves. Freedom and peace is for good people. She's bad, weird, useless... she doesn't deserve to have anything...

"If you're in there and listening..." a calm voice speaks on the terrible day her peace comes to a halt. Someone's in front of her door. It's all over. No one has bothered to check on her before. Now she'll have to come out of her room and fight and meet people and-- "I'm a new professor here, at the academy and in charge of the house you've been assigned to."

Great, just great. She doesn't move from her place on the bed. Dead... yes she's gonna play dead. No one can know she's in here, hiding... that professor will eventually leave if there's no response... yes...

"They say no one has seen you leave your room before." The voice continues talking. "Some say this is but a vacant room, but... I know you're most likely in there, so I brought you something."

What is it? She wants to ask, because she's too curious for her own good. But she keeps her mouth shut and eyes glued to the door. 

"Well, I'll leave it here." A gentle thump sounds outside the door. "I hope you find it to your liking. Good day to you."

Footsteps can be heard outside, and as soon as they're gone far enough, Bernadetta can't conceal her curiousity any longer. She unlocks her door, opens it just the tiniest bit to check if anyone's around and as soon as she finds the air clear, she steps outside. A basket sits a foot away from her door. Its covered with a cloth and... it's also really big and a little heavy. 

Bernadetta isn't weak, though. She moves the entire thing inside her room and locks the door behind herself once more as fast as she can. 

So now it sits there. Unmoving. She stares, for a moment, wondering what could be in such a big basket... and why the professor brought her so big a gift if they don't even know her at all.

And then the cloth covering it moves. She jumps, startled. Wait what? Is this an assassination plot against her? Is she really not worth being killed swiftly or face to face? Does it have to be indirectly? Is she worthless enough for that? Did father hire the professor to do this? Oh no... oh no... this is it...

"Meow." 

What? 

A tiny cry, anxious, and definitely feline in nature, comes from inside the basket. Bernadetta takes a deep breath and sinks to her knees. It's just a cat. In the basket. Relief makes her eyes sting with incoming tears and she removes the cloth to help the cat out of the basket. It's... so tiny, its fuzzy fur entirely black. So cute... oh no... it's so adorable...

Bernadetta sets it on her carpet and lets it explore the room on it's own terms, simply watching. Whatever else the basket contains is unimportant for now. The cat. All that matters is the kitty.

Did the professor bring it over on purpose or did it sneak into the basket by itself? Bernadetta marvels. She loves cats, so it doesn't really matter. The cat is staying, where it came from is unimportant. It's hers now. The only company she'd willingly accept at this point.

Oh. Company. Was that the professors goal? To ensure she's not lonely? Wah... they must be such a kind person... 

Maybe Bernadetta wants to meet them. Just the tiniest bit. It's... only proper to express gratitude face to face... right? 

The cat paws at her bed sheets, meowing. Bernadetta gently picks it up and sets it on the bed. It pads around curiously and soon settles on the pillow, cautiously keeping an eye on its surroundings. 

Right. Proper words of gratitude are supposed to come with gestures, a multitude of words and so on. They're not supposed to be stammering with the safety of a solid door between you and the receptor. That's what she was... 'taught'. That's what she struggles with. That's why she's so worthless, weird, abnormal. 

Ironically the things she's been taught, the manners that have been drilled into her from an early age, are the hardest to do. Looking into someone's eyes while speaking, actually holding conversation, not running away at the sight of anything even remotely fearsome... she cannot do. All she wants to do is stay in here.

Maybe the professor will understand if Bernadetta just doesn't come out. At least she wouldn't mind if they came back. That's something, right? It's alien for her, desiring to see someone again. To feel a bond with this stranger. But... they were so nice... they didn't expect answers, didn't mind her silence... they left her a gift basket...

Checking it again, there's boxes in said basket. A few supplies for the cat - so it was an intentional gift after all! - and bottles of juice and water. The boxes contain various snacks. Some cake, a broad slice of cheese and bread. F¹ruit and veggies. Cutlery, too, and napkins.

Tears well up in her eyes again. Did the church hire a saint as a professor? An angel? She doesn't deserve this... useless shutaway Bernie...

Maybe there's ways to repay that kindness... instead of speaking or leaving the room, what if she works on a gift to show her gratitude? She'll have to brainstorm... what do people even like? Do young adults still hold fondness for stuffed animals? Is the professor even a young adult? Voices can be so misleading... maybe they're like fourty or something; they're a professor after all... 

No toys then. Maybe a scarf. Or tea leaves. No one dislikes tea... right? But that's so basic... anyone can get tea; it's cheap and easy to find. 

So Bernadetta scans her room for something to inspire an idea. But she finds nothing. Instead, her eyes rest on the neatly folded academy uniform on her desk. She's never worn it, not once.

As long as she avoids doing that, she's not a student. She doesn't have to study practical combat. She doesn't have to spend time with several strangers in a classroom. No, she rejects all these ideas.

Besides. If she were to wear an uniform... it wouldn't be the one designed for female students. No. Actually...

The way she felt so closeted back at home, the way she had to subdue her feelings about this... if it's here, at this academy... can she be herself? Or rather... themself? Can she... can they alter their name and select what they wear and how to be addressed?

Maybe... maybe that would give them courage to leave this room. Find the greenhouse they saw last time. Just do a short trip to it and return once they're overwhelmed. Yeah. They can probably do that. Tomorrow.

For now they have cake to eat. Things to set up for the cat. Oh and naming it... what a busy day.

×××

It turns out that the cat is female. She doesn't meow a lot, but she's quite curious. Her favourite thing to do is hide underneath Bernadetta's variety of fabrics. She eats well enough and naps a lot. 

Bernadetta names her Drosera, after their favourite plant. Drosera is great company, cheers them up when their thoughts become heavy and muddled. She naps with them and curiously watches them engaging in their hobbies. It's so easy and nice, they have to wonder how they ever survived without a cat.

Its two weeks after they got dumped in this place that the professor shows up again. This time, they sound out of breath and... they're not alone. 

"Bernadetta von Varley." An unfamiliar and authoritative voice addresses them from beyond the door. The cat jumps and hides under the desk. Honestly, Bernadetta wants to do the same. Who's there? What do they want?

Time to play dead again.

"I know you're in there. The term began two weeks ago to the day. Why are you not attending?" 

Scary. It's not only authoritative but also scary, that voice.

"Now, Edelgard." Another voice speaks. Is that the professor? It's the professor! Oh thank the goddess. Bernadetta feels relieved. 

"Bernadetta, right? Would you... talk to me? Written notes are fine too. We just want to know that you're okay." The professor speaks slowly, softly. Bernadetta appreciates that so much. Notes, huh? They've never considered that...

They grab a sheet of paper and start writing. A greeting, first. An apology for being useless. A line about how they do not want to be here. Another apology for not attending classes. Some words to reassure that they're fine. Signed with their name and slipped underneath the door. 

That should do it. With that, they'll hopefully be understood and left alone about leaving their room. 

Of course that's not what happens, though.

"If you don't attend the lessons, and I'm sorry to say so, you'll be evicted and forced to leave." The professor sighs in response to their letter. 

It... obviously makes perfect sense. Bernadetta is just free loading here. It can't go on forever. But attending these classes and maybe combat training... is still better than going back home.

"You don't have to decide now, but... if you don't show up at least once before next sennight, you'll have to leave." There's shuffling outside the door, some whispers too. Drosera watches cautiously, her ears twitching ever so often. 

"I wish I could give you more time, or to offer you an alternative, but..." the professor trails off for a second,.taking a deep breath. "I don't make the rules. I am sorry, but... I also hope you do come. I left you something this time as well. I wish you a nice day."

Footsteps are leaving in a swift pace and it gets easier to breathe again. So... they really have to leave their room now. Spend hours in company of strangers, classmates. Listening to things that terrify her - about warfare and weapons and fighting. Terrible. 

And yet if it means they don't have to go back home, at least for a while, they can make do... or try to. 

Yeah, they can do it. The professor will be there. And they've only ever been nice. Patient. Kind. With them there... how bad can it be?

Bernadetta takes a gander outside to check for what's been left for them today and find a small crate. They hastily pull it inside their room and shut the door again. It's kind of heavy this time around... whatever could be inside?

First thing they notice upon opening is... a uniform. The academy uniform, but... not the girl one. It's the boy's - in the smallest size. All new, folded neatly... it's perfect. With some adjustments, they'll be able to mix and match both uniforms in whichever way they feel like that day. 

It'll definitely make them feel more comfortable going outside. Maybe they can even make... a friend? Thank the professor a thousand, million times. This is exactly what they needed. 

Though more of that chocolate tart, the sweet cinnamon cookies and other treats that come with the uniform are also greatly appreciated.

Bernadetta supposes that settles it. They'll prepare to go to classes tomorrow. Not as a girl or boy but as themself - as Bernie.


End file.
